Whats your achievement: lost a diamond and found stones?
Yesterday I recieved a sms from a friend, which said:
"Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you and misses you.
Bcoz one day you may wake up and realise that you have lost a diamond while collecting stones."
Although, I found the sms to be perfectly right. I was thinking, what the heck is this. This idiosyncrasy in people to use this word so lightly & giving their lust or infatuation, the name of love.
So, I decided to read if there is a scentific background behind this thing called 'Love'.
I have mentiond down a small part of what I read in a detailed study(Please read it only if you have patience & free time):
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We all have a template for the ideal partner buried somewhere in our subconscious. It is this love map that decides which person in that crowded room catches our eye. But how is this template formed?
Appearance
Many researchers have speculated that we tend to go for members of the opposite sex who remind us of our parents. Some have even found that we tend to be attracted to those who remind us of ourselves. Cognitive psychologist David Perrett, at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland, did an experiment in which he morphed a digitized photo of the subject's own face into a face of the opposite sex. Then, he had the subject select from a series of photos which one he or she found most attractive. According to Dr. Perrett, his subjects always preferred the morphed version of their own face (and they didn't recognize it as their own).
Personality
Like appearance, we tend to form preferences for those who remind us of our parents (or others close to us through childhood) because of their personality, sense of humor, likes and dislikes, etc.
Pheromones
The debated topic of human pheromones still carries some weight in the field of love research. The word "pheromone" comes from the Greek words pherein and hormone, meaning "excitement carrier".
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Apart from the love template formed, the various stages of Love were also defined.
________________________________________________________
There are three distinct types or stages of "love":
Lust, or erotic passion,
Attraction, or romantic passion
Attachment, or commitment
When all three of these happen with the same person, you have a very strong bond.
While the initial feelings may (or may not) come from lust, what happens next -- if the relationship is to progress- is attraction. When attraction, or romantic passion, comes into play, we often lose our ability to think rationally-at least when it comes to the object of our attraction. The old saying "love is blind" is really accurate in this stage.
The attachment, or commitment, stage is love for the duration. You've passed fantasy love and are entering into real love. This stage of love has to be strong enough to withstand many problems and distractions. Studies by University of Minnesota researcher Ellen Berscheid and others have shown that the more we idealize the one we love, the stronger the relationship during the attachment stage.
The feelings of passionate love, however, do lose their strength over time.
Suddenly your lover has faults. Why has he or she changed, you may wonder. Actually, your partner probably hasn't changed at all; it's just that they're now able to see rationally, rather than through the blinding hormones of infatuation and passionate love.
At this stage, the relationship is either strong enough to endure, or the relationship ends. If someone continues to persist strongly with these feelings then this relation exists in their mind forever.
They pose they have broken all the strings attached to you if you break their heart at this level. They may impersonate to have fraudulent behavior, and say that they will leave you or forget you. But the reality is that they have reached the state of love when they are highly committed & want only commitment in return. They are in the final stage of love which is called attachment and actually can do anything for you but they can never forget you.
________________________________________________________
There may be different stages or hormones involved for such feelings.
My opinion after reading all this study is:
Whatever you do, don't lose your head.
Surely you are the best judge and can tell the difference between a fleeting attraction which lasts for few weeks or a steady love that has continued against all the ups & downs of life for months or years.
"Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you and misses you.
Bcoz one day you may wake up and realise that you have lost a diamond while collecting stones."
Although, I found the sms to be perfectly right. I was thinking, what the heck is this. This idiosyncrasy in people to use this word so lightly & giving their lust or infatuation, the name of love.
So, I decided to read if there is a scentific background behind this thing called 'Love'.
I have mentiond down a small part of what I read in a detailed study(Please read it only if you have patience & free time):
________________________________________________________
We all have a template for the ideal partner buried somewhere in our subconscious. It is this love map that decides which person in that crowded room catches our eye. But how is this template formed?
Appearance
Many researchers have speculated that we tend to go for members of the opposite sex who remind us of our parents. Some have even found that we tend to be attracted to those who remind us of ourselves. Cognitive psychologist David Perrett, at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland, did an experiment in which he morphed a digitized photo of the subject's own face into a face of the opposite sex. Then, he had the subject select from a series of photos which one he or she found most attractive. According to Dr. Perrett, his subjects always preferred the morphed version of their own face (and they didn't recognize it as their own).
Personality
Like appearance, we tend to form preferences for those who remind us of our parents (or others close to us through childhood) because of their personality, sense of humor, likes and dislikes, etc.
Pheromones
The debated topic of human pheromones still carries some weight in the field of love research. The word "pheromone" comes from the Greek words pherein and hormone, meaning "excitement carrier".
________________________________________________________
Apart from the love template formed, the various stages of Love were also defined.
________________________________________________________
There are three distinct types or stages of "love":
Lust, or erotic passion,
Attraction, or romantic passion
Attachment, or commitment
When all three of these happen with the same person, you have a very strong bond.
While the initial feelings may (or may not) come from lust, what happens next -- if the relationship is to progress- is attraction. When attraction, or romantic passion, comes into play, we often lose our ability to think rationally-at least when it comes to the object of our attraction. The old saying "love is blind" is really accurate in this stage.
The attachment, or commitment, stage is love for the duration. You've passed fantasy love and are entering into real love. This stage of love has to be strong enough to withstand many problems and distractions. Studies by University of Minnesota researcher Ellen Berscheid and others have shown that the more we idealize the one we love, the stronger the relationship during the attachment stage.
The feelings of passionate love, however, do lose their strength over time.
Suddenly your lover has faults. Why has he or she changed, you may wonder. Actually, your partner probably hasn't changed at all; it's just that they're now able to see rationally, rather than through the blinding hormones of infatuation and passionate love.
At this stage, the relationship is either strong enough to endure, or the relationship ends. If someone continues to persist strongly with these feelings then this relation exists in their mind forever.
They pose they have broken all the strings attached to you if you break their heart at this level. They may impersonate to have fraudulent behavior, and say that they will leave you or forget you. But the reality is that they have reached the state of love when they are highly committed & want only commitment in return. They are in the final stage of love which is called attachment and actually can do anything for you but they can never forget you.
________________________________________________________
There may be different stages or hormones involved for such feelings.
My opinion after reading all this study is:
Whatever you do, don't lose your head.
Surely you are the best judge and can tell the difference between a fleeting attraction which lasts for few weeks or a steady love that has continued against all the ups & downs of life for months or years.
It depends on you, whether you loose current diamond in search to find someone better in your life or save this one forever. What's your achievement................. ??
Excogitated by a_beautifulmind @ 3:20 AM
1 Voiced their opinions :
@ Crappy Shit,
Thanks for being so concerned and up to-date about me & stages of my love life. ;-)
Those who DO NOT HAVE LOVE IN THEIR LIFE, are often found keeping track of others love life.
Never mind, my complete sympathy is with you and your lonely life ;-)
I know about your achievement: “You are incapable of saving the diamond. As a matter of fact I feel, you can’t keep even the stones”. I PITY you and your incapability to do so. :-(
Terribly SORRY for your lonely life. Let me think!! Do you have life also? Yes, I conclude. You don't have a life. Bcoz there is no life without love in it.You have only crap in your life. ;-)
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